it all started with a simple day, simple dress, simple smile and a simple talk. Turned out to be the not so simple relationship.
"hai.." i turned back to the person standing behind me with a simple smile and a simple hi. he looked surprised, i was embarrased,turing my head back to the front,embarrassed, facing my coolest friend on earth but i do not mind she does not think me the same way, as i know i am not. it was somewhere in the early of July, i was so bored, waiting in zigzag lines, to take a picture for our matric card.
i heard the grinned of the person behind me eventhough he was not saying any word, so i braved myself, turning myself back again, "siapa nama?... oh Ujer. " it went something like that. the three of us talked about schools, backgrounds, experience and woven with a little bit of over excitement, as the early half an hour already, i can sense that we three have chemistry. the day ended up just, like that...
it was so awesome our class rept. to get the numbers for the whole class, the girls started to cheering for trying out to prank their favourite "someone" or whatsoever ok i exagerrated this part but i know mestilah ada kan.
anyway, i used to use a Vivaz phone, it is a HD touchscreen phone which i bought it myself, by my own first salary and i LOVEEEEEE the phone so much. but long story short, i added up all the contact numbers into my phone and the first person to have texted me was Ujer. I was excited, as i know.. he is so AWESOME! always got me cracked into his own creatively made up jokes.. i love it. our relationship as friends, grow fonder and fonder, and alas.. after all the scandals people put up and we keep on denying it but it never got into our mind to part away from each other. one day, i IM him at facebook. as usual.. about our story, it's not something that i wanted to share here.. But i love him. and i still DO.
he was so sweet,yet he is still now..
whoever that gets to be with him, is the LUCKIEST GIRL on earth.seriously.. he always give me secret recipe cakes.. always got confused between the one i loath and loathe, blackforest cake or chocolate indulgences.. i know it is not cheap. what i am happy the most, his parents are so fine and in fact, were happy to find out about our relationship. they take it as a good thing as long as he stays respect to me and perform in his studies. was such an easy for him. not for me. i could not complaint much, i understand as a daughter, in Islam, a daughter or a girl is like a symbol of dignity. it is not that i am dirty, but they just want to take a good care of me like save the best for last.. which is to my future husband and most importantly for Allah. i am their responbility.. things like this lingered into my mind.. i changed my mind several of times and asked for break up..many times.MANY... i know that he is deeply hurt. i know for the others, they will see i am the bad one in this relationship. what i had learnt, never judge someone without YOU being at her/his place. Especially if you had never been into any relationship. I have my own personal reason for this and sometimes, not all things we can share to others.. do i have to tell the whole world ,THE REASON ? will it change the situation or people's perception? i have to learn not to thing much about what other people say and just stick to my virtue. they know nothing..they just say things as they are so bored of minding their own business..
all i want to say is, i am ashamed with Allah. his parents and family.. i just want him to stay as my friend. my BEST FRIEND like a normal one.. that occasinally express their feeling.. not all the time. i know he feels it all the time. urgh.. i sounded like a fussy one. i love him.really do.. but when he does things that get into my nerves, i tend to get mad.SO mad that i sometimes feel like changing course and runaway from him. the moral of the story, never to get into a serious committed relationship if you thing you are not ready yet. love your parents that have raised you for (state your age) and love yourself
"hai.." i turned back to the person standing behind me with a simple smile and a simple hi. he looked surprised, i was embarrased,turing my head back to the front,embarrassed, facing my coolest friend on earth but i do not mind she does not think me the same way, as i know i am not. it was somewhere in the early of July, i was so bored, waiting in zigzag lines, to take a picture for our matric card.
i heard the grinned of the person behind me eventhough he was not saying any word, so i braved myself, turning myself back again, "siapa nama?... oh Ujer. " it went something like that. the three of us talked about schools, backgrounds, experience and woven with a little bit of over excitement, as the early half an hour already, i can sense that we three have chemistry. the day ended up just, like that...
it was so awesome our class rept. to get the numbers for the whole class, the girls started to cheering for trying out to prank their favourite "someone" or whatsoever ok i exagerrated this part but i know mestilah ada kan.
anyway, i used to use a Vivaz phone, it is a HD touchscreen phone which i bought it myself, by my own first salary and i LOVEEEEEE the phone so much. but long story short, i added up all the contact numbers into my phone and the first person to have texted me was Ujer. I was excited, as i know.. he is so AWESOME! always got me cracked into his own creatively made up jokes.. i love it. our relationship as friends, grow fonder and fonder, and alas.. after all the scandals people put up and we keep on denying it but it never got into our mind to part away from each other. one day, i IM him at facebook. as usual.. about our story, it's not something that i wanted to share here.. But i love him. and i still DO.
he was so sweet,yet he is still now..
whoever that gets to be with him, is the LUCKIEST GIRL on earth.seriously.. he always give me secret recipe cakes.. always got confused between the one i loath and loathe, blackforest cake or chocolate indulgences.. i know it is not cheap. what i am happy the most, his parents are so fine and in fact, were happy to find out about our relationship. they take it as a good thing as long as he stays respect to me and perform in his studies. was such an easy for him. not for me. i could not complaint much, i understand as a daughter, in Islam, a daughter or a girl is like a symbol of dignity. it is not that i am dirty, but they just want to take a good care of me like save the best for last.. which is to my future husband and most importantly for Allah. i am their responbility.. things like this lingered into my mind.. i changed my mind several of times and asked for break up..many times.MANY... i know that he is deeply hurt. i know for the others, they will see i am the bad one in this relationship. what i had learnt, never judge someone without YOU being at her/his place. Especially if you had never been into any relationship. I have my own personal reason for this and sometimes, not all things we can share to others.. do i have to tell the whole world ,THE REASON ? will it change the situation or people's perception? i have to learn not to thing much about what other people say and just stick to my virtue. they know nothing..they just say things as they are so bored of minding their own business..
all i want to say is, i am ashamed with Allah. his parents and family.. i just want him to stay as my friend. my BEST FRIEND like a normal one.. that occasinally express their feeling.. not all the time. i know he feels it all the time. urgh.. i sounded like a fussy one. i love him.really do.. but when he does things that get into my nerves, i tend to get mad.SO mad that i sometimes feel like changing course and runaway from him. the moral of the story, never to get into a serious committed relationship if you thing you are not ready yet. love your parents that have raised you for (state your age) and love yourself
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